A new definition of "Smashed"

--------- 'Beer-o-holic' Smashes Wall For Brew ----------

ORLANDO, Fla., A self-confessed beer addict is in jail in Orlando, Fla., after hammering his way through a concrete wall into a food store cooler for some cold brew. Police say the thief tunneled into Young's Food Market early Wednesday and used a hammer and tried to get into a large cooler. The store owner, who lives above the market, called police after hearing the commotion, WKMG-TV, Orlando, reported. The thief made a run for it but was nabbed by a police dog. Sweaty and thirsty, the suspect was treated at a hospital for a dog bite.

Man, I'm glad I quit drinking. Shit like that is embarrassing! I once fell down the stairs with my pants around my ankles, and my hat stayed on. I landed face first and was like "what happened?"

What an ass.