The Calling

It has always been difficult to explain to those who don't understand, what the warrior path is. I frequently am frustrated trying to explain my interests, and also find those with an equal level of interest. I have attended many schools over the years, but none have really felt like a perfect fit. The closest would be the Talon, although I caused my own problems there. I really really really wish that I felt at home at the current school I am interested in however; a lot of the students there work together and seem to have really deep relationships and have a closeness that I feel somewhat isolated by. It is by far, the best school hands down. I have trouble staying motivated to go, it's a long drive, and my training partner keeps getting pulled away. Also, they have that closeness which was very intimidating at first. I do things to keep up my training, stay current, read articles and books. Lately I have noticed that I am still in really good shape, and that I'd like to keep it that way. I'm hoping to join a conventional gym, and get my overall fitness balanced and in gear. I am always struggling with our society's perspective on the warriors path. It is either corny movie rambo/xxx action, or hokey I-wish-I-were-a-samurai or a native American. I don't knock those cultures as I am very interested in both... Merely longing for a culture our own that isn't hundreds of years old. It is a difficult calling, and I walk it. Sometimes I get off the path, or go backwards, but I am always feeling the intense calling. Martial Arts is really the only part of our culture that feeds that part of me. I suppose knowing that, and also neglecting that aspect has left me famished. Does a starving man cut his own throat when he is hungry?