Alien Klepto

"Good thang bout these space aliens is .... they can't drive a forklift to save their life!"

Alien Abduction Stories

An alien with long fingers and no mouth attempted to abduct a man from Missouri. During the scuffle, the man stabbed it with a knife when suddenly his room filled with light and the alien vanished.
In England, a boy went missing from his bedroom only to return three days later apparently unharmed. No memory remains of the abduction, but the boy has suffered from chronic insomnia ever since.
While visiting Roswell, N.M., a man disappeared while exploring the desert at night. He claims to have been abducted by grayish aliens with basketball-size heads. For a week after the alleged abduction, the man's new TV was nothing but static.
A young man from Orlando, Fla., was taken into an alien aircraft whose cockpit appeared to be a modern living room. The man came to on his front porch and has since been plagued by nightmares of the incident.
Greenish aliens with very large eyes and small mouths abducted a man in his early 20s. He has little memory of the experience but returned with extreme pains throughout his body and burn marks to his chest.
A middle-aged man was abducted from the parking lot of his local church. The abductors communicated to him without moving their lips and had almond-shaped eyes. The man said he never felt threatened and believes the aliens cared about humankind.