Can you do a double back flip?

Well Tim can. With little effort.

16 THINGS TO DO @ WAL*MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
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I thought this was so funny, that I had to post it. I would like to do #13 the most. I saw one of these for 7-11 that was good too. I guess the funniest thing I have ever done in a mall store was really really really overtly check out a dude walking down the way. My girlfriend at the time was very very amused. I thought it was funny. Guess you had to be there. LES SEE what else? I've done the picking nose in a security camera, but also have done it while driving so people don't stare. It works ok. I would really like to turn the lights off, get some powered wheel chairs and paintball guns and go on a manhunt of a blindfolded victim. I'd also like to have a lightsaber dual in full star wars regalia while driving those gas powered two wheel mini scooters thru a downtown parade or something. I need to think about this, as I know i've done some crazy shit..... but can't remember any while sober. Hmmmm. I need to add some spice to my sober life!

Another Embarassing moment for Darth

"Sir, is this the size you were looking for?" "Idiot, announce it to the whole star system!"

The Job Thing

Well I'm looking again for a better job. The one I have currently is not living up to anyone's expectations at all. I'm frustrated and tired of getting a job and then finding out someone has lied to me, or mislead me or left out vital information.
Currently I'm a "partner in the business" and what that amounts to is my boss calls me when he absolutely needs a second hand to help him.
Partnership?
No.
The money is good when there is work, and my boss is actually very cool but everything is run on his terms not our joint terms.
I'm finding that unless the business is a legal partnership, it isn't one.
I'm also tired of well meaning friends and relatives going "Hey buddy find a job yet?" or "Working yet" or "must be nice not having to work" and my favorite "are you even looking for a job?"
Yes like I said they mean well or are just striking up the conversation with that, but man I'm about to strangle them all.
My luck with jobs is well known, kinda like everyone knows there are taxes to pay.
I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS TO CHANGE, AND HAVE MADE VALIANT EFFORTS, PEOPLE.

The only one who understands, really really does.... Is my wifey. She has been soooooo cool, and supportive and listens and everything. I know I married the right woman.
I have been getting headaches, been mildly peeved, have been obsessed about the work thing for weeks. Today, my boss had me come out and look at a job, then didn't pay me. It was "just in case he needed me, he wants me to know the job." Ugh.
I'm looking to find a job where I make a difference. Where people appreciate me, and listen to what I have to say. I don't mind working hard, or working long hours as long as in the end I'm appreciated and respected. Now the respect I have to earn, but when I have put in a lot of hard work and this goes unacknowledged that's when my motivation takes a quick left turn for wally mart and goes to the punching bag section of the store and hits its head on a boat oar.
But.... On the bright side I've had plenty of time to help some friends, and do some house work (much needed I might add). Anyone out there have any similar stories?
No advice please, just stories. I really just want to relate to other folks experiences.